It´s one weak now, since i left mauritius to go back to germany. I miss my friends so much!!! More than i missed the people back in germany. After the 7 days my room doesn´t look that strange to me anymore. But after meeting some people i realized, that i must have changed a lot.
A lot of them, whom i know for a long time... seem so different to me. But i guess it´s just me. Nobody else. I should have stayed there for a view more weeks. But i am just to weak to deside that for me. I allways think about what people wanting me to do, not what´s the best thing for me.
Maybe i am just allways to confused to deside what is good for me. People will hate me for doing what i want to do.... because i am crazy. But that´s the good thing. Being crazy makes some stuff in your life much easier. I have to think about a lot of people i left on mauritius these days.... a lot of times. I MISS YOU GUYS!!!!
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Oh Rasta...
Reading these things makes me so sad. Maybe you just miss us more than you missed people in Germany because you knew that you would be coming back to Germany, but you don't know when you will be seeing us again. Of course you changed. That is why you came over here in the first place, to see the world and to let it change you! That is a good thing.
Living up to your responsibilities does not make you weak. It is just important to be honest with yourself and the people around you. You are not crazy. It is not good when you have to hurt people you care about, but it happens and it is part of life. You also have the chance to make people that you care about very happy. No one should hate you for being true to yourself. We all get hurt, that is part of caring about other people. I am very sorry that you are hurting right now.
I know that you miss things here and the life here, but remember that it would not have lasted forever anyway. You can't live on the beach and do nothing for more than a few months anyway :) We also miss you very very much and it is different without you. Remember to hang in there and little by little you will start fitting back into your old life. Slowly Mauritius will fade more and more as you fall back into your everyday life. Even if you don't want it to happen, it will. Just as we will have to get used to you not being here. At least we had a lot of happy memories, right? Times change, but you can keep friendships going across long long distances, and we will always be there for you even if we aren't physically there. I will talk to you soon, and I miss you very much. Happy New Year.
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