Monday, December 27, 2004

After one weak back....

It´s one weak now, since i left mauritius to go back to germany. I miss my friends so much!!! More than i missed the people back in germany. After the 7 days my room doesn´t look that strange to me anymore. But after meeting some people i realized, that i must have changed a lot.
A lot of them, whom i know for a long time... seem so different to me. But i guess it´s just me. Nobody else. I should have stayed there for a view more weeks. But i am just to weak to deside that for me. I allways think about what people wanting me to do, not what´s the best thing for me.
Maybe i am just allways to confused to deside what is good for me. People will hate me for doing what i want to do.... because i am crazy. But that´s the good thing. Being crazy makes some stuff in your life much easier. I have to think about a lot of people i left on mauritius these days.... a lot of times. I MISS YOU GUYS!!!!

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Sick german Freeaaakkkssss

What happened???

Nothing special, to be honest!

I went back to germany... and that´s the only desaster!

...ok, i arrived back in germany on monday the 20th of december at about 10:40 in the evening.
There were a lot of friends and my mom, waiting for me. Everything went good by now.
So the most people were scared because of my facial hair... damn.
We got to our car and finaly we´ve been driving home. A lot of stange feelings were, and still are in my stomach. Everything seems so different. To be quite honest i feel like a stranger in his own country. Today i went to the next city to buy some christmas presents. I walked down the streets like i did 19 years before. But all seemed so strange to me. Everybody, every house, every store, .... just everthing. Even in my small town where i live, everything seems strange.
Sometimes even my own room seems strange to me. Those feelings are fucking crazy.
Actually i don´t feel very good! I hope it will geet better over the holidays. I will meet a lot of people... a lot of "friends" and some guys frome my family. All will ask me the same question and everyone is happy to see me again... the funny thing is that i should be happy to... but i guess i am not. Well let´s see what happens over the holidays